A 42 Hour Train Ride... Are You Crazy?

Last October my son Eli and I decided to take a train out west. The plan was to extend our family vacation by a couple days and meet Megan, Autumn and Abraham at the airport the day after we arrived. We would then be re-united and drive to my parents’ home in the mountains above Reno, NV.

Waiting for the train.

Everything was going as planned. The days of anticipation leading up to the trip were especially fun for Eli, who couldn’t wait for our journey to begin. All of my friends (Megan included!) thought I was a little crazy for wanting to take a 42 hour train ride with a 4 ½ year old kid. But I was just as excited as Eli was. I couldn’t wait for some one on one time with my son. Building memories and forging a bond between father and son.

After sitting for an hour outside the train station, we boarded the train and were on our way.  I am guessing Eli’s endless questions could hardly keep up with all the thoughts that were racing through his little mind. Silly things like, “Where does all the “poop” go after we use the bathroom on the moving train?” to deep thoughts like – “How can God be in more than one place at once?”  It was a blast! This was just what I was hoping our trip would be like. A chance to have some focused time with my son. To speak into his life. To disciple him.

On our way! 

I have to admit, at dinner the first night, I was pretty proud of myself as we sat in the dining car and began to talk with an older couple. They praised me for what a great dad I was for taking "the rail" with my young son. I graciously accepted their praise. After all, I was pretty great - right?

As the sun set on our second night, Eli began to feel sick. He developed a fever and deep cough. I could begin to see the excitement leave his eyes and a glazed over “sick look” quickly replaced it. We didn’t sleep much that night and all the talking stopped. All I could do was hold my little guy tightly and hope we would arrive at our stop quickly. 

As soon as my folks picked us up at the train station, we went directly to urgent care in Reno. After some tests, the Dr. did not give the diagnosis of strep throat - like I anticipated - or croup - like the kind women on the train thought it might be. His throat was constricted and the Dr. made it clear that he was very concerned. After some breathing treatments (that did not seem to help) they sent us by ambulance to the local ER. As the paramedics hooked Eli up to oxygen for the ride, this time things began to race through my mind - as my scared little boy looked to me for answers with his eyes.

“It’s okay buddy. Don’t worry. The doctors at the hospital are going to check you out and they will figure out what we need to do - so you can feel better soon… I bet you never thought we would get to ride in an ambulance together? And one with sirens going even… this is pretty cool!”  I tried to be strong and love him well throughout the ordeal; even though I think I may have been more frightened than he was. In the midst of the fear and the unknown I found myself asking God some selfish questions. Why did this have to happen now – when my wife was two thousand miles away? Why were things not going according to “my plans?” Why…

Feeling good enough to eat! 

Eli was a trooper in the ER! They poked him with needles, took blood and hooked him up to machines as he sat their quietly letting the doctors and nurses work. He was eventually diagnosed that day with bacterial tracheitis (An uncommon respiratory infection that is serious in young children). We spent the night at the hospital so they could monitor his breathing and his reaction to the medications.

I am thankful that I took the plunge and purchased an iPad before the trip. As a result, my wife Megan was able to see and talk to Eli in his hospital room. That was priceless. I know this situation was difficult for me, but I can’t imagine what it was like for her. She was so far from her little boy, unable to hold his hand and comfort him.

Finally at Grandma and Papa's house!

After a night on the couch in the hospital room, I was more than ready to go when the nurse gave us our discharge papers that afternoon. (I will tell you my “great dad” moment that occurred that morning in a future blog.) We left the hospital and headed up the mountain to have a fun vacation with family and friends. Four generations together under one roof  for a week and playing with cousins - was just what the doctor ordered! That week the medicine that was prescribed cured the problem and over time Eli was back to his energized self.

Looking back (now a year later) I can share some lessoned learned.  My true goal and prayer for that trip was to spend quality time with my son and to grow a deeper bond between the two of us.  

Mission accomplished!

No, it didn’t happen the way that I planned, but it happened. “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21. God in his wisdom knew that adversity would provide the opportunity for us to deepen our relationship. (James 1:2-5; Romans 5:1-5) Hard times give us a chance to stop relying on ourselves and instead turn to our Creator. It gives us a chance to grow and become more complete - more like Christ.

What are you going through today? Maybe rather than asking why, we would do well to ask other questions. What are you trying to teach me God? How will this grow me in my relationship with you? Help me step back and try to see the big picture. Whatever you are in the midst of, realize this - God has not left your side! He is there as you go through it, and if you let Him, he may surprise you by answering your prayer in a way you never expected. In a way that, quite frankly, far greater accomplishes what you had prayed for in the first place.

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If you are a parent, I want to encourage you to read and meditate on a passage from the Old Testament. You have probably read or heard of Deuteronomy 6:4-9 before. This time read it with a few questions in mind. Do I love God with all that I am? What does that even look like? Does my family see and have access to that part of my life? Do I have a plan for developing my kids spiritually? Consider Jesus’ addition to this passage (Matthew 22:37) and ask yourself if you are loving those around you – starting with your family! 

A few years ago I put together some resources for a parent section on our church’s youth website. I know that raising kids can be an overwhelming task. The following link will give some helpful suggestions of how you can intentionally disciple your children and live out a “Deuteronomy 6” mindset in your homes. I hope it helps you in the process!

During his 3 years of ministry on earth, Jesus made time for his disciples, to daily speak truth into their lives and chose to intentionally live life with them. We should consider doing the same with our children. Be intentional. Have a plan. Invest! Then let the One who sees the big picture come along side you in the process. Things might not happen the way we want – but if you enter into it with the right perspective, God can use it for His glory and for our growth.

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One year later Eli and I are preparing for another trip out west. This time we are driving cross country to meet my family for a week long reunion in the mountains of CO. We will be camping among aspen trees, hunting the elusive Bull Elk and again building memories as father and son. A couple weeks ago Eli, with the help of his big sister, made a paper chain to count down the days until we depart. Nine days to go! Once again we wait with anticipation for the journey the lies ahead. Most of us have heard some version of the age old adage - "It's not the destination, but the journey to get there that matters most." Perhaps the truth in this statement exists in the fact that the journey itself is often the place where God is able to do some of his most amazing work within us. The question is - Will we join Him in the process? 

From one parent to another, may we use the 18 year journey that God gives us with our kids wisely. May we realize that the life we live before them and the time we spend together, those are the moments that mold them into the people they will become. God has placed them into our care and given us the huge responsibility as parents to, well in one word - parent. As Deuteronomy points out – it starts with us. Will you choose to Love God, and be a life example for your children?

That decision is up to you!

Love all and Worship One,

Bill White

Evangelical Free Church

Pastor of Youth

PS - I realize that my experience in this story may pale in comparison to some of the situations you have gone through, or may be going through right now, in life. Maybe your trial is larger and more similar to the example we find in the Bible about a man named Job. I don’t have time in this post to delve into the big question of hard times on this earth. But it is worth mentioning. If the topic of trials or suffering intrigues you - here is a message I shared a while back that tackles what I think may be the story behind the story in Job's life. “Making Sense of God When Life Does Not.” God can handle our questions and he has not abandoned us in our times of trouble!

Packers lose... good call?

September 25, 2012

Monday Night Football!

This past week America watched the Seattle Seahawks take on the Green Bay Packers. As a Bears fan, I wish this game would be remembered for the eight sacks on Aaron Rogers in the first two quarters of the game. Instead however, it will go into the archives as “The Game the Replacement Refs Awarded the W to the Wrong Team."

I probably don't have to tell you that it all came down to a final hail mary pass by Seattle's QB. You will remember vividly that with seconds left on the clock, Wilson heaved a last ditch effort pass toward the end zone. Three Green Bay defenders and two Seattle receivers jumped into the air and fell into a pile below. Green Bay defender M.D. Jennings leapt highest and pulled the ball into his chest, while Golden Tate also grabbed the ball in his outstretched hands and together the group fell to the turf.

One Referee signaled touchdown and the other simultaneously signaled interception. Chaos ensued in Seattle and, I am guessing, in "Packer homes" across the US as well!

Here is how the "Times Newsfeed" covered the event:

Though the NFL ultimately stood behind the call Tuesday, the league’s replacement referees took their fair share of heat on Twitter after the game-ending call, giving a touchdown to Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate Monday night in Seattle. Tate and Green Bay safety M.D. Jennings both leapt for the catch, landing in the end zone grappling for the ball. It would’ve been a tricky play for any ref to call — instant replays appeared to show that Jennings had possession of the ball — let alone a group of officials grappling with authority and image problems, as the NFL’s replacement refs have dealt with. Even still, the ruling was a head-scratcher. Of the two officials who converged on the ball, one referee signaled an interception while the other called a touchdown. And despite the evidence from the videotape, after review the touchdown stood. But that didn’t stop fans, players and commentators alike from airing their views — some rather scathingly. 

If you are a NFL fan, I am guessing you will remember this game for years to come. Let me be clear - I am not here to take one side or the other. After all - I'm a Bears fan! Bad call or not, I am happy that the end result was another loss for our arch rivals to the North. But here is one observation that I had after the game. One that I have not heard many people talk about.

I believe the response from the ESPN play by play commentators that night, Mike Tirico and analyst Jon Gruden,  set a tone of negativity into the living rooms of thousands of viewers. I think that perhaps their reaction and comments may have fanned the flames of some already upset fans during this year's referee lockout. 

After the game my FB and Twitter accounts lit up with opinions. There was celebration (from “mainly” Seahawk and Bear fans) and rants of disgust from pretty much everyone else. As I went to bed I couldn’t help but think. What if the commentators focused on the reason why the refs upheld the call after going under the hood? What if rather than take pot shots at guys, who are simply trying their best to do a job that they may not be qualified for, Mike and Jon choose to give reasons why it might make sense? What if rather than rail on the refs poor officiating, these voices of “authority” choose to focus on the rules of the game? After all, they did briefly mention the little talked about fact that when two opposing players each come down together with the ball on a catch, possession goes to the offense. What if, even though they thought it was a bad call, they choose to publicly acknowledge that it was a tough call to make? 

What if? 

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Maybe it was a terrible call or maybe it was a tough call made by inexperienced refs.  Regardless, I can’t help but wonder what the week after would have looked like if those commentators took Proverbs 11:12 to heart. “It is foolish to belittle others, a person of understanding holds his tongue.” Perhaps their negative spin on the situation “fanned the flames” of others and ultimately spun this “bad call” out of control.

Student Application:

What can we challenge our students with who are enamored by the outcome of a football game? How can we engage those boys in our groups who never seem to listen; but who can rattle off any and all stats for their favorite player. Consider using this current situation, that has already captured their attention, as a springboard into spiritual truth. Let it be an intro (maybe even this week!) to a lesson or a talk on the power of our words. Think about walking them through James 3:3-12. Scripture tells us to weigh our words carefully, knowing that within them we find the power to build others up or the power to destroy those around us.  Jesus himself reveals that the true issue is our heart.  Have students look up Matthew 12:33-34 and talk about how our words show the world who we truly are.  Like a mirror shows our face’s reflection as you look into it – our words reflect the true condition of our heart.  Remind them that you are not talking about the muscle in their chest, but that their heart represents our deepest thoughts, feelings, motivations and emotions. The real you!

Words can be dangerous, but they can also encourage and be a source of light in the darkness. Our words can shine light on the difference a relationship with God through Jesus is making in our lives. Let’s help our kids use them wisely.

What are your words “saying” about you? Are we examples worth following?  

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One final word to all my Green Bay Packer friends. I have to admit - that was a rough one!

To my Chicago Bear friends – When Jesus told us to be Salt, he didn’t mean rub it in the wounds of others! That being said - guess the Bears O line isn't the only one in the NFC North that needs some shoring up. J

From one Youth Pastor to another, my final encouragement is this. Consider teaching like our Rabbi Jesus. Take the situations in everyday life and use them to help engage students in God’s truth. Let us not simply teach students what to think (or even simply what we think), but instead let us strive to show them how to dig into God’s truth. Let’s show them how they can apply the living Word of God in their lives by applying it to ours first.

Love all and worship One,

Bill White

Pastor to Youth

Evangelical Free Church of Bloomington, IL